Monday, July 28, 2008

溏心风暴

何谓溏心风暴?"溏心"指的是鲍鱼,有溏心的鲍鱼就算是一等一的好鲍鱼了。

而剧名中“溏心”二字意思是说一个温馨的家庭就好像内藏溏心的上等鲍鱼一样,不是轻易得来,必须经过多重工序,加入不同材料与心机,耐着性子才能煮出来。也牵连出现代人往往着眼于金钱利益,从而轻视亲情的社会现象。

这部电视连续剧终于播放完毕。我非常喜欢《溏心风暴》,尤其是它戏中的歌曲,非常抒情、感人。最喜欢当中的“MyLove will get you Home", 及"Vincent"。听说已经推出了第二部由同一班演员演出的《溏心风暴之家好月圆》,即将在新加坡的DVD店可找到!太高兴了。我的学生买来看完后,就会借我!哈哈!

话说会来,我最喜欢这个故事中的大妈,她不仅是家中的守护天使,还有着非常锐利的目光,可以清楚地看透人的本性。看着大结局时,虽然有一些仓促,但是却令我感动万分,还流下了男儿泪。哈哈,但我不觉得丢脸!其实我是个蛮感性的人,有时看到那些令人感动的戏时,都会不自觉流下眼泪。这套连续剧的曲折性、及演员的演绎真的让我折服。新加坡演员何时才能演到这种出神入化的程度呢?

常在心(故事中的女主角之一)是另一个令我欣赏的故事角色。我欣赏她对真爱的执著,也常在想自己什么时候也能像她身边的男生一样找到我的“常在心”呢?“还可以”(Pretty Ok, 故事中的男主角之一),最终守得云开见月明,最后与常在心在一起。 我觉得能为自己喜欢的人默默付出,无条件地不要求任何回报,只希望对方开心,保持笑容,是一件多么伟大的事。明明喜欢,但却只能做最要好的朋友,真是令人。。。所以说,故事的结局都是皆大欢喜的,尽管在现实生活中不可能像在电视连续剧中有着完美的结局。

人生如果没有遗憾,就枉费此生了。有遗憾不要紧,最重要的是自己觉得所作的事是正确的。我在刚过去的生日里许了两个不同的愿望,其中一个是为学生许的。真是令人感动,他们虽然被其他老师视为顽劣不堪,但我却喜欢教他们,而他们也买了个蛋糕为我庆祝生日;第一次有学生为我庆祝生日,因此我也为他们许了个愿。他们说:“说出来就不灵了。”所以,我就不说了。

另一个愿望,在家里及与朋友庆祝时许下了这样一个愿望。很简单,也很老土。希望她能永远快乐。这个“她”,可能是个虚拟的她,并还没出现,也可能是我曾经或现在心仪的女生。好了,Emo 后,是时候面对现实了。去改功课了!下次见。希望不会太久。

在这里附上这首歌《My Heart will get you on》 的歌词,一起唱吧:

插曲:my love will get you home
原唱:Christine Glass
歌词
If you wander off too far
My love will get you home
If you follow the wrong star
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself
Lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home
If the bright lights blinds your eyes
My love will get you home
If your troubles break your stride
My love will get you home
If you ever find yourself
Lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home Boy
My love will get you home
If you ever feel ashamed
My love will get you home
If its only you to blame
My love will get you home

Sunday, June 29, 2008

贴标签?Labeling?

English Translation below

你们在什么时候会看到一件东西上贴着标签呢?可能多数在罐头、日常用品、各类食物等“身上”看到标签吧。贴标签是为了让人们知道所吃、用、买的东西到底包 含了什么,是否对自己有利或有害,甚至是做为相互比较的依据。那么,我想借助这个我们天天都会接触到的看到的标签,来谈谈我们每天如何也用着这些标签来 “贴”在我们周围的人的身上。

每一天,我们在上班、上学的途中会遇到一些陌生的脸孔,或一些熟悉但却认不得的脸,或一些非常熟,简直就已经熟透了的朋友的面孔。不管是哪一张脸,我们的 心里都已经在不知不觉下,为对方贴上了一种标签。你们不相信吗?让我举几个例子。你有没有在路上看过染金发的男生,或抽烟的男人,然后第一时间认定他们一 定是什么三教九流的人物。如果对方穿西装、打领带,可能会认为他是个斯文败类,或心中可惜为什么这么个大好青年会因抽烟而断送美好的将来(因抽烟会给予人 们不好的印象)。你是否也有看过穿迷你裙或穿着性感的女生嘴里叼着一根烟,然后与男朋友楼楼抱抱?你是否有一个你本来以为是个品行良好、很负责任的朋友, 而你也为他/她贴上了好好先生或你最要好的朋友等“标签”,但他却做出一些令你意想不到的事情,或一些与你的理念背道而驰的事情来,让你非常失望?

当学生不交功课时,你是否也认为他们懒惰呢?当学生不把衣服穿好,你是否认为他们的品行有问题?当学生染头发(金色或红色,不是黑色!)、抽烟、打耳洞 (男生)、穿着露骨(露股沟、性感),你是否认为他们是坏学生,是无可救药了呢?当学生在班上和你顶嘴,你是否认为他们没有口德?可能现在的你还没有发 现,其实每个人的心中都有一把尺,去衡量其他人,但可惜的是,在对其他人品头论足的同时,我们忘了要自我反省自己的缺点,自己的过错。

当我们为其他人贴上标签后,就很难摒除这种偏见。就比如我有很多朋友因为中国人来新加坡与他们争夺念读大学的位子,在课业方面又名列前茅,所有的A +、A都被他们扫空,以致使自己不能以优秀的成绩毕业。又有一些则受不了中国人、越南人、及一些其他国籍的学生所用的口音,而对他们进行排斥。其实,新加 坡人有一种很奇怪的心理,我们有一种自认比其他人优秀,比其他人更高一等,高高在上的心理,因此当我们面对竞争时,往往由于养尊处优了太久,就会开始埋怨 政府。我们曾几何时会对自己的不够用功,去进行反省,为我们所拥有的一切珍惜而感到满足呢?当我们在为其他人贴上标签的同时,是否会想到对方的感受,是否 会顾及到他们的面子?

人靠衣装,佛靠金装。我们可能外表打扮得很好看,但若内心却一直在检视别人的过错,而不自我反省,那我们将在思想上停滞不前。我看到一班的学生一直在嘲笑、作弄班上一名稍微弱智的学生,让我觉得异常痛心。尽管我尝试与他们讲道理,但由于他们还是普通工艺的学生,他们还很难明白自己行为对于同学所造成的伤害。这种心灵上的伤害比肉体的伤害还要严重,还要深远。我刚看了一个中国中央电视台的节目,题目为“少年英雄”的一个颁奖礼,为的是肯定一群在四川大地震中奋不顾身救出同学的事迹。其中一位身患残疾的学生尤其感动了我,而我也不止一次流下眼泪。我再看看我们的学生,然后想象如果学校发生火灾,到底有几个会伸出援手来救出和自己同窗的同学呢?可能人要到了最危险,生死关头的那一刹那,才能真正发挥出自己内心深藏的“人”/“仁”性吧?这也是为什么有一位中四生告诉我,他认为这个世界的人都没有爱心。那,我问他,什么是爱?你们说呢? 我将尝试在下一篇给一个答案。

我为什么会写这篇短文呢?前天当我经过地铁站时,看到一群青少年穿着光鲜,似乎是中学生,晚上了还在外溜达,而其后我又看到另一群青年,女生在抽烟,男生则蓄长发,说话粗鲁。在我心里,我觉得他们似乎已经学坏了。在那一刹那,不知为何,我又问自己这样一个问题:为什么我要以这种眼光来看待他们呢?他们又没有打家劫舍,做出丧尽天良的事,只不过是一些受不了诱惑的青年想要享受周末夜晚而已。他们有自己的自由,一种无拘无束的自由,这就是年轻的本钱,做事不需付出太多的考虑,太多的责任。每一个人都有他们的强项,都有他们生存的价值,只要尝试去看到他们好的地方,我们看东西的方法将会不同,也将活得更快乐。

讲个小“笑话”。有一位学生告诉我,班上的一位女生认为我长得蛮帅的,让我听了也不禁开心了一会儿。仔细想想,可能不同人的有不同的审美观吧,因此只要你告诉自己,你是最帅最美的,说不定有一天就有人会来夸你了。记得,不要去看别人的缺点,尝试去发掘他们的优点,你将发现世界更美丽。

English Translation:

When and where do you see a label? Maybe mostly on canned food, daily necessities,and all sorts of food products. Labels are there to let us know what we are eating, using or buying, and whether the ingredients/ components are useful or harmful to our body, or even for comparison purposes. So, I would like to use this thing that we come into contact everyday - LABELS, to talk about how we actually use labels to tag the people surrounding us everyday.

Everyday, while we are on our way to work, to school, we always see new faces, or familiar yet unrecognizable faces, or very familiar faces of friends. Whichever face we see, we will unknowingly tag the person with a label. You don't believe me? Let me give a few examples. Have you ever seen boys with dyed hair, or are smoking, and at the 1st instance deduce that they must belong to some gangs or some bad boys. If he is wearing a suit, with a tie, hen maybe you will think that he is a scum in society, or wonder why has this young man waste his future away, smoking his life away. (Smoking leaves a bad impression to others) Have you also seen skimpily dressed girls in mini skirts, with a stick of cigarette between their lips, and hugging and kissing their boyfriends? Have you ever had a friend when you thought that he was someone of great conduct and a responsible friend, and you tagged him/her as a role model or your best friend, only to find out one day that he did something beyond your expectations, or done something that is contrary to your beliefs, and made you disappointed?

When students do not hand in their work, do you think that they are lazy? When students do not wear their uniforms appropriately, do you think that their conduct is flawed? When students dye their hair (gold or red, not black pls!), smoke, pierce their ears (guys), dress up scantily (revealing or sexy), did you think that they are ill disciplined students who are beyond redemption? When students talk back to you in class, do you think that they do not have manners? Maybe you haven't realized, actually in everyone's heart, we have a ruler to judge others, but sad to say, this ruler is not used to judge our own character. When we are criticizing others, we often forget to look back at our mistakes and reflect on them.

When we start labeling others, it will be difficult to erase this biasness. Just like I have many friends in University who have deep biasness with the Chinese from China PRC, as they come to Singapore to fight for the limited vacancies in University intake, and also doing so well in their academics, sweeping away all the A+ and As from the Singaporean students, resulting them from being unable to graduate from University with flying colours. Another bunch of friends just cannot stand the accent of Chinese PRCs, Vietnamese, and some of the accents from other nationalities, and so ostracizing them in the process. Actually, we Singaporeans have a very funny mentality, and that is, we have a mentality of being more superior than others, especially than people from other nationalities. Hence when we meet with obstacles or problems, due to being in our comfort zone for too long, we tend to complain about our government and everything around us. When do we ever blame ourselves for our complacency, lack of diligence, and do self reflection or feel contented with what we already have? When we are labelling others, do we ever think about their feelings, or care about their "face"?

Men rely on their clothes to look good, likewise for the mighty Buddha coated in gold. We can look nice on the outlook, but if we continue to judge and criticize others' mistakes, and do not do self reflection, then our mindset will remain stagnant. I saw students in one of my classes mocking and making fun of a student who is slightly mentally handicapped, and that made me feel very sad. As much as I tried to talk sense to them, but because they are from the normal Technical stream, it is difficult to make them realize the damage that was inflicted on the student. The emotional distress is more serious than physical pain inflicted and it can have a lasting effect. I was just watching a programme on a Chinese Channel (CCTV 4), and it was a show called "Young Heroes", celebrating the brave deeds of the young students during the Sichuan Earthquake. There was this girl who was handicapped, and she managed to save a friend out of the rubble and carry her despite being hit by rocks, and it deeply moved me. Among other touching stories, I teared than once upon the recount of their brave deeds. Then I look at Singaporean students, and imagined that there was a huge fire in school, how many would actually lend a helping hand to save friends or classmates who have been studying with them? Maybe humans will only react and show their true humanity / benovelence, during the most critical moment in life, when they face life and death. This may also be why one of my Sec 4 students told me that he thinks that there is no love in this world. Then, I asked him, what is love to you? Hey readers, what do you think? I will try to provide an answer in the next post.

Now, why am I writing all these? The day before, I was passing by the MRT, and I saw this bunch of young people wearing very "Ah beng" clothes, looking like Secondary school students, still out wandering around late at night; Then I saw another bunch of teenagers, girls smoking, guys with long hair, speaking vulgarities. In my heart, I thought that they have already turned bad. But at the same time, which I do not know why, I asked myself another question: Why am I passing such judgments on these kids? They do not rob, do not steal or kill, in fact, it is just some teenagers who cannot stand the lure of materialism, and whom wanted to enjoy their weekend night. They have their own freedom, an unrestrained freedom, and that is the biggest capital of being young. When you are doing something, you do not consider much, do not pay attention to how much responsibility you need to bear, nor consider about the consequences. Everyone has his own strengths, and a purpose to why they are here in society. As long as you take on a positive mentality to discover their strengths, the things that you see will be different, and you shall also live a more fulfilling and happier life.

Just a "joke" before I end. A student told me yesterday, taht her friend thought that I am actually quite handsome, and that did brighten my day. Come to think of it, different people have different perspective to the definition of "handsome" or "pretty", so you just have to tell yourself that you are the best, and who knows, in time to come, someone will be there to appreciate your beauty. So remember, do not look at others' flaws or shortcomings, try to uncover their merits and strengths, and you will discover a more beautiful world around you.

Friday, June 27, 2008

开学第5天!

(English translation below)

今天是开学第5 天。其实还有6个小时才正式起床上班。在这个新的学期里,我负责教1D,1F,1H,3F/G, 及4D,而我也负责学生警察的课外活动职务。最令我遗憾的是无法继续在2B班执教,但我告诉他们只要有缘,我们一定能在他们中三时再见!这次的班级最有挑战性的自然是中三的普通班,因为他们绝对不普通。哈哈。说真的,只是与他们接触两天,我已经能深深体会到新加坡教育制度下,一群被“遗弃”孩子的感受。因此我新的座右铭是:天底下没有教不好的学生,也没有坏学生,只有不能教好学生的老师。我希望我在教育界的日子里,能一直秉持这个座右铭,并且希望能“挽救”一些面对问题的学生。我发现其实中三的这群学生知道他们自己要什么,只是他们已经被“遗忘”了太久,没有人尝试去接触他们,去启发他们,去触碰他们的心灵。

可能我是个“怪胎”,喜欢享受与学生接触的时间,也喜欢陶醉于与他们欢笑。有个学生在MSN上告诉我,在这个假期会来后,发现我比较开朗,比较多笑容,希望我能继续保持如此。哈哈。可能多笑能让我显得更年轻吧!有位中四的学生说我讲话时比较紧张,好像没有准备。其实我要告诉她,这正是现在很多新加坡的华文老师所面对的一个问题。表面上,我们似乎是双语“精英”,但其实很多时候,我们说话时都会“词穷”,意思是想不到恰当的词语来表达我们想说的。为什么会这样呢?因为我们也是这个不完美的教育制度下的产物。其实,当我们在面对朋友时,常常在言语中中英混杂,甚至加入一些新加坡式英语(Singlish)。在面对学生时,要顾及到言语上的妥当性,及正确性,有时学过的知识一时无法显现在脑海中,因此说话时会有一些迟缓。因此,我很庆幸学生再次举出了我这个缺点,我也希望长时间的磨练下,能够逐渐适应这样的环境。

再者,有几位2B的学生都问我为什么没有教他们,也向我诉苦,发牢骚。我很高兴他们期盼我再去教他们,但事与愿违,但我还是希望他们能够继续用功学习。

其实在实习的日子里,我得到了“Credit”(分级为 Pass, Credit, Distinction),已经算是很不错了,因为我整班37位同学中,只有一位取得 Distinction(特优),因此我很满意了。但,由于我在教育学院(NIE)时,实在对他们的“硬邦邦”的授课方式不感兴趣,因此也没有多下苦功,取得了个及格而已。心中虽然有一些遗憾,但我认为我的使命在两年前已经不是在读书而是在启发人,因此我在2007年刚进入NIE 时,就接下了本地社区服务(Gesl)及海外社区服务的领队职务(Leader)。在这段期间,我很惭愧地称自己为NIE中文班的班长,因为我真的象是没什么贡献,除了举办一些庆生活动和卡拉OK时光外,也不是个很好的榜样。哈哈。在此,要感谢我的搭档,忆雅,为班上付出了不少努力。今年初,在我的实习期间,我又得准备及率领一队30人的国大学生到柬埔寨去当了22天的义工,因此我很高兴在学校里的表现没有受到太大的影响。可能这也是我为何在班上笑不出来的原因吧!其实,有很多朋友质疑我为何当老师,因为我太喜欢开玩笑了,不像会认真和严肃。哈哈。其实他们也是开玩笑的啦。至此,我两年来的4趟海外义工服务,也算是告一段落了。

接下来,我只希望能举办多一些到海外学习的义工学生团,让他们更能珍惜自己的人生。因此经过了这一些日子,我也得出一个结论:我不一定是一个最好的语文老师,但我要做到一个能让学生记得的老师,记得我曾经教导他们如何走自己人生的道路,就像在多个老师中,我印象最深刻的还是我的中学华文老师。希望我能达到这个目标。我也很高兴我得学生有抽空时时来看看我是否有新的帖子。谢谢你们的支持。我一定会继续在博客上分享我的心得,敬请留意。我看我明天再翻译为英语吧!好累啊!

English Translation:

Today is the 5th day of school, actually it is another 6 hours more before I wake up. In this new term, I am in charge of teaching classes Sec 1D, 1F, 1H, 3F/G, and 4 D, and am also in charge of NPCC as my CCA. The most regretful thing is not being able to continue teaching class 2B, but I have to tell them that if fate decrees, we will meet again next year in Sec 3. The most challenging class assigned to me would be the Sec 3 normal academic class, because they are really not "normal" kids. haha, seriously speaking, just 2 days of interaction with them, have made me realize under the current education system, how a bunch of "rejected" kids feel. Henceforth, my new resolution is: There are no unteachable or bad students, there are only teachers who cannot teach their students well. I hope that in my days as a teacher, I can continue to pursue this resolution and fulfil this calling to help as many "problem" kids out there. I realize that this bunch of Sec 3 students under me know what they want, it is just that they have been "forgotten" for too long, as not many tried to interact with them, inspire them or even touch their hearts.

Maybe I am a "freak", cos I enjoy the interaction time with students and like to indulge in having fun with them. A student told me on MSN that after the holidays, I looked happier with more laughters and smiles, and she hoped that I can maintain this look. haha, maybe laughing out more can make me look younger. A Sec 4 student told me that I seem nervous when I speak, and sounded like I did not prepare my work. In fact, I want to tell her that this is one of the serious problems faced by Singaporean Chinese Teachers (Locally born and bred teachers). On the surface, we may seem like bilingual elites, but at times, when we speak, we are actually stuck at certain phrases, and need to think of suitable sentences, or words before we deliver what we want to say. In short, we take a longer time to think and process what we need to say as compared to teachers from China. Why is it the case? Actually, if you notice, when we speak to friends, we mix English and Chinese, and at times, Singlish. But when we are facing and talking to students, we need to gauge the appropriateness, and the correctness of the things we say, and sometimes, the knowledge that has been learnt just doesn't pop up in your brain, so we pause more often when we speak. Hence I am very happy that my students pointed out this flaw of mine, and I hope that in time to come, I can gradually adapt to the chinese speaking environment and speak more fluently.

Next, a few students from 2B has asked me why I wasn't teaching them, and complained to me. I am glad to know that they had wished that I could continue teaching them, but since it is not heaven's will that we meet this term, I can only hope that they continue to work hard and strive for better results.

Actually, I got a "Credit" (Grades are Pass, Credit, Distinction) for my practicum, and I am very happy with this results, because among my whole class of 37 NIE batchmates, only 1 got distinction, hence I am grateful for this grade. But, because I really could not get used to the "boring" teaching methods in the courses, hence I did not really put in a lot of effort to study, thus only getting an overall pass for my NIE life. Though there are some regrets in my heart, but I thought that since my resolution since 2 years ago has changed from studying to excel in academics to nurturing and inspiring people, when I entered NIE in 2007, I took on the leader's role for a local community project under NIE - GESL, and also led a team to an overseas community trip. In my NIE life, I feel ashamed to call myself the class representative of my class, cos I really did not seem to have made any contributions, other than organising some birthday parties and Karaoke Sessions, and I was not a good example in class. Haha, hence, I would like to thank my partner, Yiya, for contributing her efforts for the class. Without her, we would have missed out a lot. Once again, thank you. At the beginning of 2008, when I was on practicum, I had to juggle with leading a team of 30 NUS students with my buddy, over to Cambodia to fulfil 22 days of community service work, hence I am also glad that this has not affected much in my overall performance in school. Maybe this was also one of the reasons why I had not been able to smile or laugh out in class in the last term. Actually many friends questioned about me being a teacher, because I really love to joke and crap around, and don't look like the serious type who can teach in class. haha, actually they are also joking lar. Henceforth until now, my 2 years of 4 overseas expeditions have finally come to an end as I embark on a new journey in teaching.

In the following days, I hope to lead more teams of students overseas, to let them learn about others and cherish or appreciate their life more. Hence, after all these time, I also came to a conclusion: I may not be the best Chinese language teacher, but I must be a teacher that will be remembered by students, remembered for how I used to guide them in their lives, just like in the many teachers that I used to have, the one that left a lasting impression was still my Chinese teacher.I hope I can attain this goal. I am also very happy to know that my students still take time to check out my blog. Tks for all your support, and I will continue to share my thoughts online. Do keep a lookout, and I will do the translation tomorrow. So tired. ( In fact, today is already saturday. haha)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

我回来了。

是的,我回来了,已经有两天了。有一种淡淡的失落感。不知为什么每一次在一个海外工程完成后,都会有这种感觉。这次尤其强烈,就是不知为什么?说起来,我这次率领的这个小组,虽然不是我理想中最好的,但却是最团结的一组。虽然中途发生了一些令人遗憾的事情,但我觉得这次的工程让我收获不少。好长又好短的22天。长,因为我们在这漫漫22天中完成了许多许多,了解与领悟了很多很多,学到了好多好多。短,因为22天在一年365天里,微不足道,这短暂让人能喘息时间,不仅没让我充电,反而消耗了我大量的功力。哈哈。短,也因为我还没完全认识这一群PA X的好朋友们。真希望我们能有更多时间再一起来相聚。

现在,我的人生又要重新出发了,这次是一条漫长又艰辛的旅途。在这条新的路上,我将遇上许许多多莘莘学子,我将在无意或有意中影响他们。我只能带着一个目标继续前进:让他们知道活着的意义,及做人的道理。

好了,不要再说这么沉闷的东西了。其实在这次的旅途中,我发现我是个容易对人有好感的人。简单来说,我喜欢上了一个女孩。有人问:“你不觉得博客很假吗?因为你不会在网上说出你真正的感受。但我觉得这是因人而异的。起码我会尝试写出我的想法, 因为我觉得这是一个很好收藏回忆的管道。在若干年后,当你再读到自己的回忆时,也会会心一笑。

在去年十二月的旅程中,我觉得我好像喜欢上了这个女生,但这份感觉很奇怪。后来,我才知道原来我只是想要尝试培养出一种“喜欢”的感觉,因为我觉得这位女生很不错,是值得交往的对象。在这22 天中,在与许多人分享了他们的恋爱史时,我不得不同意这一点,感情是很难培养出来的,一定要有一样东西牵引着两人,或是让两个人在一起时觉得很舒服。

正当我在尝试找寻一样让彼此都能更舒服的默契时,我竟然在另一个女生的身上找到了这份默契。她让我觉得交谈中很舒服,又很想让人去呵护。只可惜她已经有了男朋友,而且这可能是一厢情愿,但我很珍惜这难得的心动。说真的,已经有很久没有这种感觉了。哈哈,没关系,我只希望她能得到真正的幸福和快乐。这才是最重要的。有一位朋友告诉我:好的东西是值得等待的。此时的我,只能再期待下一次的心动了。哈哈。今天,我发现有很多人在MSN 上写了这样的一句话:Yesterday is History, Today is a Mystery, and Tomorrow is a Gift, that is why it is called the Present. 我想了很久,好像在哪儿见过,因为今天我不止一次在网上看到了这句话。好吧,让我们努力迎接明天将到来的礼物吧!

好了,这篇花了一天来写。哈哈。

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

At Changi Terminal 1 Gate C19

Here I am, going to leave Singapore soon, to embark on a learning journey of 22 days. In these 22 days, I may become darker, I may slim down, I may be sick, but nonetheless, I look forward to this trip. And well, I look forward to the visit to Ang Kor Wat again tomorrow morning. Of course, one more thing that I am anticipating, Champions League Finals, tomorrow, Man Utd Vs Chelsea.. haha.. How to watch leh? Well, I will find a way out.. So, half an hour more to boarding the plane, and here I am, feeling bored and using the free Internet..

I have looked through the blogs again, and am glad that some of my students actually mentioned me in their blogs, all missing me of course.. hahaha.. Well, same sentiments here.. Looking forward to teaching in the new term liao.. Remember to watch the " Hua Wen Zhi Duo Xing", 8 pm on every monday. I think it is a great way to improve your chinese. Sorry ar, this computer here cannot type chinese. Okie.. Nothing much to write.. and a big challenge awaiting for me ahead.. To lead 28 angels on a mission.. Hope they do learn something..I will try my best to blog whenever I can, I have brought my laptop along too, and there is this one single place that has wireless access in Cambodia, called "Blue Pumpkin".. I will take some time to type out my blog, if I have the chance..

Hail Man Utd.. Winners tomorrow night! Till 22 days later..

Monday, May 19, 2008

The different faces of life (人生中不同的脸孔)

很多人说我如果不笑,我的样子看起来会很凶。可能是我的皮肤黑吧,每次会被当成脸黑黑。可能这是一件好事,也有可能,这是件坏事。为什么我这么说呢?今天,我除了要分享我的脸上的表情代表着什么意思外,还希望能谈一谈我的一些看法。

有时候,当我不笑的时候,其实我感到很累,很疲倦,尤其是这上半年, 我笑与不笑的时候差不多都各一半。我是个很喜欢笑的人,也很喜欢带给我周围的人欢笑。但遗憾的是,我的家里常常都是吵闹多过笑声。所以每次我和朋友在外面时,都尽量保持愉快的心情。这上半年,由于受到学校教学的压力,以及两个海外义工工程的进行与后续工作,让我筋疲力尽,想笑也笑不出来。

我不笑,除了疲倦外,其实有时是在想事情。当我在思考时,是我最认真的时刻,所以经常会看到我不说话,然后也不笑。可能就是因为我平时笑太多,给人一种吊儿郎当的感觉,因此,当我不笑的时候,就会被当成是“脸臭臭”、“发脾气”。你或许还没察觉,我其实不喜欢发脾气,也不喜欢生气的感觉,因为生气很累。当我生气时,我会让你知道你把我惹火了,而那是每个人最不想看到的脸。

因此,如果我凶,那是因为我有必要对你凶,而不是因为我生气了。例如:当我发现班上有人说话时,我必须凶,学生才不会吵闹;或者当在学生警察中,为了维持纪律,绝对有必要对学生凶,才能让他们知道什么时候应该遵守纪律;又或者当我是领导时,为了维持队中的合作精神,我得拿出领队的威严来达到目的。但,如果你是一个正常人的话,你不会喜欢人们对你凶,或对你呼来唤去,或骂你。这也是我常被人误会的地方。或许可能是我认为别人误会我,但事实上,这与人的本性有关。

我非常讨厌我的父亲经常无缘无故就对我怒吼,尤其当我没有犯错时,因此我时时警惕自己,除非有必要,不然我不会对任何人这么做。其实,这些日子以来,尤其是上个星期所发生的一些事,让我深深明白了人性的一个弱点:人,不喜欢被其他人把他们当成小孩子般来使唤,或训话,因此他们常常怪罪于骂他们的人,从来不会反省自己是否有错。换句话说,现在的人们只会埋怨别人对自己怎么样的不好,却不换个角度想想他们是否真的有错,以致招徕他人的谩骂?他们也不会去设身处地想想为何人们要如此对待他们?我不否认有些人就喜欢针对人,又或者观点存有偏见,因此常喜欢骂人。总而言之,我觉得反省之心非常重要。

我的父亲是个脾气极度暴躁的人,因此我常被骂。这也导致我们父子俩的关系处于一种敬畏的阶段。但,我必须说一点:没有我的父亲的“骂”,就没有今天的我。我有很多缺点都是经过“骂”之后,才改正过来,但遗憾的是,他很少会去发掘我的优点。可能是我曾令他失望过。

在这次的四川大地震中,我看到了不少新的脸孔,一些人生中难得一见真诚的脸孔。我看到了人们在寻找孩子忧虑的脸孔;我看到了人们在面对亲人尸体时无可奈何,欲哭无泪的脸孔;我看到了更多人们抱着希望的脸孔,日以继夜地不断搜寻失踪者的下落;我也看到温家宝总理温和慈祥的脸孔安抚着沮丧的人民; 我更看到了为了保护学生而壮烈牺牲的老师僵硬的脸孔;我也看到了学生们感激老师的脸孔; 我看到了全世界不分国界、种族、语言的人民,慷慨解囊,伸出援手,为灾区人民默默祈祷,盼望有更多生还者,那种恳切的脸孔。

在这次缅甸的热带风暴中,我看到了政府对人民不屑的脸孔;我看到了全世界人们想要帮助,但却无可奈何的脸孔; 我看到了缅甸人民在被自己政府残酷的遗弃后,自动自发地从全国各地到灾区去出一份绵力,向自己的同袍伸出援手,那种互助互爱的脸孔;我更看到了救难人员,及联合国因为缅甸政府不肯配合而生气的面孔。

以上种种的面孔,不管是善良或丑陋,都在这两个大灾难中显现出来。我从这些人生中不同的脸孔中学到了四个字、一个道理:人性本善。善良是人们天生的本性,尽管缅甸的政府从表面上看来对外来的援助很不友善,但那时因为权力的斗争腐化了他们善良的本性。在这里,我希望我的学生及到我的博客阅读的朋友,都能保持自己善良的心,并要懂得从经验中虚心学习,不要一直埋怨他人对自己开骂,要换个方式去反省为何人们会这样对你。可能你会发现这个人其实教会你更多的人生道理,毕竟我是这么过来的,你呢?

English translation of the above text:

Many people say that if I do not smile, I actually look very fierce. I look into the mirror and thought: Maybe I am too dark,so i get mistaken as being angry. Maybe it is a good thing, but maybe it is not that great after all. Why do I say so? Today, I am going to share what the expressions on my face mean, and what they actually represent of me, and I also hope to share some of my views about the different faces of life.

Sometime, when I do not smile, it is actually because I feel tired, really tired. Especially for the last half of 2008, the times where I smiled/ laughed, and the times where I do not smile at all, I think they are quite equal. I am someone who likes to laugh or rather, I like to bring laughter to the people around me. But regretfully, I have not been able to fulfil this wish at home, as scoldings exceed the amount of laughter being heard. Hence everytime when I go out with my friends, I do my best to maintain fun and laughter. For the last half of the year, due to pressure from teaching in school, and my 2 overseas community projects, its preparation for one and its closing for the other, it has drained me totally of my energy, so as much as I want to laugh, but I do not have excess energy to do it.

When I do not laugh, besides being tired, actually I am thinking about some matters. When I am really in deep thought, that is when I am serious about some important matters, hence you will see me being very quiet, and not smiling at all. Maybe I usually give others an impression whereby I laugh and joke a lot, giving people an impression that I am not serious about things, hence when I don't laugh, people will think that I am angry, or feeling unhappy. They will not think that I am tired. Maybe you have not realised one thing about me, that is, I so not like to be angry, as I hate the feeling of being angry, because it tires me further to be angry at someone. So when I am really angry at you, I will let you know about it, and that will really be the face which you will really hate to see.

When I am fierce to you, that is because I feel that there is a need to be fierce, and not because I am angry. For example, when I find someone talking in class, I have to be fierce, so that the students will not be noisy and thus affect the learning of other students; Or when in NPCC, in order to maintain discipline, I have to be fierce to the students so that they will know when is the time that they have to obey orders and not to fool around; Or when I am in the position of a leader, in order to maintain the team's discipline in doing things, I have to exert my authority on you to achieve the aim. However, having said so, if you are a normal being, you will not like people to be fierce to you, nor will you want people to boss you around to do things, or scold you. No one likes that, and that is why I am always being mistaken by others. Or maybe it could be that I have mistaken how others think of me. Nevertheless, I have come to realize one thing, in reality, this has got to do with the nature of human being.

I really hate my dad at times, when he rants at me for no particular reason, especially when I am not wrong..Hence I keep reminding myself, unless there is a need, if not, I will not scold people for no particular reasons. Actually, through these days, especially after what happened last week, I realized that human have a weakness, and that is: Man, as much as they do not like to be treated as kids, being commanded at or scolded, they turn to vent their frustrations on the people who scolds or reprimands them. Man seldom does reflect on his own mistakes. In another words, people nowadays only know how to complain about how others are treating them badly, but they do not change their perspective to wonder if they really did something wrong, that deserved a scolding from others? They do not put themselves in others shoes, and think of why people have to treat them in this lousy manner? I do not deny that there are cases where people just like to find fault in others, or some whose viewpoints are biased and flawed, such that they just like to scold others unnecessary. All in all, I feel that self reflection is very important.

My dad is someone who has a very bad temper, hence me being scolded that much. This has also caused our relationship of me to always be in a position more of respect rather than us trying to understand each other better. But, I have to say this, without the relentless scolding from my dad, there will not be the Ivan Lee today. I learn through the many mistakes through his scoldings, but the one thing that I find regretful is that, he seldom explore my strengths. Maybe because I have hurt him badly before.

In the aftermath of the Si Chuan Earthquake, I see a lot of refreshing faces, some which can only be seen in a lifetime. I saw the faces of people frantically looking for their children in the rubbles; I saw the helpless, sad faces of those who have lost their closest kins and friends; I saw more hopeful faces working hard day and night trying their very best to look for the traces of their loved ones, or of stangers that they do not even know; I saw the kind face of Premier Wen Jia bao providing mental support and calmness to the helpless victims of the earthquake; I even saw the hardened, expressionless faces of the teachers who have sacrificed themselves in the event of protecting their students from the quake; I also saw the faces of gratitude of the students who were saved from the rubbles; and of course, I saw the earnest faces of kind people from all over the world, regardless of country, race and language, doing their best to raise funds, and pray for the well being of the victims, hoping that there can be more survivors as time ticked past.

In Myanmar's Cyclone Nargis, I saw the uncaring face of the government of Myanmar; I also saw the helpless faces of those who have kind intentions to help, yet unable to do anything due to the government's restrictions; I saw the helpful, kind and loving faces of burmese coming from all over the country to lend a helping hand to their own people; and I also saw the angry faces of the rescuers from all over the world as well as the frustrated faces of the UN counterparts who wanted to help.

以上种种的面孔,不管是善良或丑陋,都在这两个大灾难中显现出来。我从这些人生中不同的脸孔中学到了四个字、一个道理:人性本善。善良是人们天生的本性, 尽管缅甸的政府从表面上看来对外来的援助很不友善,但那时因为权力的斗争腐化了他们善良的本性。在这里,我希望我的学生及到我的博客阅读的朋友,都能保持 自己善良的心,并要懂得从经验中虚心学习,不要一直埋怨他人对自己的不好,要换个方式去反省为何人们会这样对你。可能你会发现这个人其实教会你更多的人生道 理,毕竟我是这么过来的,你呢?

From all the different faces from all walks of life, no matter whether they are kind or ugly faces, it has surfaced from the 2 natural disasters and tragedies. I have learnt an applicable phrase from the above, and that is: Human is kind by nature. Being kind is an inborn nature of human beings. Even when we see the Myanmar government unwelcoming outside aid, we have to realise that it is because of the struggle for power that has made the junta defect from their original kind nature. Hence finally, I hope that my students and other visitors of this blog, can maintain a kind heart, and learn humbly from your experiences and failures, and do not keep blaming others for being harsh on you. Try to think from another positive perspective on why people are treating you in this manner. Maybe you will find that this person whom actually scolds you have actually taught you much more than you have ever learnt. Well, at least that was how I lived by, what about you?

( wah, I actually spent 3 hours on this.. 2.45 am le.. Time to sleep.. Going Cambodia tomorrow le.. Last night on my precious bed..)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

心痛! 中国人不会那么容易倒下。。

I am feeling very heavy now, not physically, but deep down in my heart. My last post was dated 11 may 08, now on this day 15th May 08, as I regained consciousness of what is happening around me, I realized that I am a lucky man. After the Pulau Ubin camp with my Project Angel X members, I revolved around feeling tired and burdened by personal unhappiness, with the news of the China earthquake ringing around my ears, cos my dad was watching the Chinese news yesterday.

On 12th of May,I was still at the chalet in Aloha Changi.. Yet there, 5 hours flight away from me, people are dying, people are howling in pain, people are...... using their bodies to save each other. Yes, these are the noble people. I just read in the papers today about 2 parents cowering over their child to protect her from the falling wall. The parents were dead in the rubble, though the child was rescued.

A teacher blocked his students from a falling ceiling, and his head was crushed in, but his 4 students survived. A 65 year old man, used all his strength to carry his disabled wife from 3rd level, to 7th level. Thousands of students died in the secondary schools, and primary schools in Si Chuan, and people lose their families and friends.

Tears welled up my eyes when I read these news, and I really felt that I could do nothing when I see and read these news. My heart ached and it will continue tonight only until I fall asleep. I am glad that I am staying in this small yet safe country. I am glad that my students are still safe in their homes, enjoying TV and playing computers. I am glad that I do not have to go through the ordeal of separation from my parents. I am a free thinker, so I thank whoever brought me where I am.

Yet, I feel sad when I see people not learning to appreciate what is around them, I feel sad when people quarrel over small things and abandon their loved ones. I feel sad when I am able-bodied yet I cannot stretch out my hands to save a life. Here, I can only thank the Chinese government for being able to save as many lives as they could, thank Premier (Prime Minister) Wen Jia Bao, who stepped out just 90 minutes after the quake, and went straight into the rubble to calm everyone down, and direct the whole rescue operation. Yes, China is filled with love, let us all pray for the 2 countries.

In the month of may, more than 200,000 innocent lives have perished under the hands of natural disaster. Who do we blame? The incumbent government of Myanmar or the cruelty of the natural disasters? Why do people perish like this in Myanmar? Because they are still living in poverty and do not have the power to save themselves. They do not have the power to stay in better houses, do not have the ability to feed themselves, and do not have the power to overthrow their corrupted government. Can you imagine now, what might happen if those in power chose to ignore the life and death of its people?

In China, it was a totally different scenario. Thousands of people rushed over with aid from over the world, and China welcomed them with warmth. The Chinese work day and night to save their people from the rubble, and of course, the most touching scenes would be people sacrificing themselves to save others. Other than wishing them good luck, I do not think I can contribute much other than some money. Below is a link that lets you donate to redcross, who will bring over our donated amounts over to both people of China and Myanmar. Maybe we could do something.. maybe..

Students, do get your parents to make a gift in this difficult time..And lastly, appreciate all your loved ones, and learn to love yourself too.. I will be away in Cambodia from Tuesday 20th May to 10th June. I will try to keep a diary if I can manage, and will post if I have time. Meanwhile, I hope all of you (1F, 1D, 2B), pls continue writing and updating your blogs, and when I say I miss you guys, I mean it.. See you all in a month time.

http://www.redcross.org.sg/chinaearthquake_src_donate.htm

Ivan