All right, I shall start by wishing my dear sister a happy birthday. Another year older.. Come to think of it, 24 years since birth, everything seemed to have passed by in a flash. She is a big girl now, matured enough to make decisions on her own. How time flies. Dear sister, you have a totally different character from me, and you are someone who wants to earn big bucks, and is really "stingy". But it is a good thing cos you always make plans for the things you buy and for your future.. I hope you do. Anyway, you are someone who can't step out of the house without putting on makeup, so haha, I guess, it is a girl's right and privilege to make men wait.. Oops, no longer a girl, a lady.. Yar, in terms of size, I am almost double your size, and 10 shades tanner than you are. Just look at our family photo and you will know.. The guy beside her is her bf..
Strange that I can only remember the times which I bullied her and made her cry, and when she asked me if it was a right choice to just have one boyfriend in her life, since she thought that she should be given a chance to go out and know more guys before making a decision. It was a tough one, I thought, and so, I told her that whether you want to trial and error or stick to your choice, it is your personal decision. The most important thing is to ask yourself if you are happy with this person, and if it is, then why change?
These days, when I see my Sec 1s, almost every class, my dear students will come and tell me their "secrets", like this person "stead" with who, and who likes who etc... Though I know that they may not be matured to really know what is "LOVE", but it is difficult to drive through this idea. The media has portrayed such images that break-ups are very common in life, and you must really go and trial and error before finding the right one. But, how do you know he is the right one? Maybe the one after is a better one, or the previous one was already the best, but you chose to regret after breaking up? When you try to tell these students that they are still too young to experience what is love, they will then ask you back, " How do you know we do not know what is love?" Arh, indeed I do not know, cos even I am looking for an answer.
I see students happily "steadying" together, one who said that there is a guy who tried to ask her to stead for 4 times, and finally they got together for 1 day, before the girl decides that it is still better to stay as friends. Then I have students of different classes "steadying" together, and students who break and reconcile, break and reconcile. Arh... indeed Secondary school life is indeed a place where it is full of drama, just like TV.. I have at least 3 pairs of friends who have been together during Sec School and have since gotten happily married, and I am really happy for them. Those whom I have not discovered, may be more..
If people a decade ago can start to fall in love with one another, and eventually gotten married, why are we stopping the youths today from falling in love? Arh, there is a catch to this question. Responsible behaviour.. To fall in love, means to love someone responsibly, thinking of all consequences before he or she acts. As teachers, we have the responsibility to let students know that getting into a relationship does not mean getting too intimate..It is good to give it a try in Secondary school, but if you find someone better in your JC or Poly, or ITE, then what would you do? Break up and move on in life? Well, life is a contradiction and change is indeed the most constant thing in life. So, I do not have advice for you, you have to make the choice.
For me, if I know that there will not be any progress, I will put a stop to it, before I move on. You must know what you want before you can move on. If I know that if this is not the kind of life we can spend together, or the woman that I can love for at least the next half of my life, then I think I should give up. And all these, you learn from experience. And how do you learn? From advice, from others' experience and of course, from your own experiences. Love is irrational, or rather it is blind to make you not think rationally. Often than not, when you fall into it, and you know that it is not the path that you want, you will still choose to be blinded by it, rather than to face the momentarily pain after a break up. Sometimes, things are easier said than done. I can only hope that people will cherish whatever happiness that they already have and appreciate it. If you do not feel happy, move on. Happiness is never too far from you... : )
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