Lee Siew Leh was her name, and she was born 74 years ago in China, and brought to Singapore with her mum. Her mum, married a man who had a family in China and the both of them had 5 other children. The 5 children called her big sister, and naturally all decisions were made by her, as she was more "knowledgeable" than her siblings, since she was older. As a woman of the last generation, she was told that women do not need much education and thus, she could only study up to primary level before she stepped out to society to help her dad and mum, in both work and managing the family.
As big sister grew up, her responsibilities became heavier, as more chores and burden were handed to her. She had blamed her mum for having to stay single in her life as she had wanted her to help in taking care of her younger brothers and sisters. According to her brother, she has had a boyfriend but eventually things did not work out then. Being the eldest in the family, unmarried, and not very educated, she worked as a cleaner, keeping estates clean and at the same time, she adopted a daughter. By and by, the daughter grew up and big sister sent her overseas for a degree, and afterwhich, she fell in love with anther Singaporean and got married.
While life was tough raising a daughter on her own, she worked hard both at increasing her knowledge and also at playing the role of a mother. When it seems like life was turning for the better for big sister, after her daughter got married, it only lasted for a few years. Things did not work well for the daughter and her husband and eventually they were both on the brink of divorce. Yet, more was to come. The daughter gave up her business, and moved out to their old house in Bukit Batok. Earlier on, big sister had used her savings, bought over the house and transferred the house to her daughter, in order for her to expand her business. So, with the house in the daughter's name, they(Big sister, her daughter and the daughter's son), moved back to Bukit Batok. However, quarrels were frequent, and they drifted apart.
[According to an entry in big sister's diary, it wrote:"I am very sad that when my daughter and grandson sees me walk past them, they do not even greet me. They just treat me as a complete stranger. At home, I have to do my own laundry, and I had to pay for the food that was bought, so in the end, I decided to cook my own meals. "
In other entries:"I think I am not that intelligent or knowledgeable, as those who have studied more than me seems to speak with more sense, and I feel so clumsy whenever I talk to them." In her heart, she feels that she is constantly stepping on people's tails, due to her bluntness and frankness in whatever she speaks. ]
Back to story, after the relationship between mother and daughter fell apart, big sister was left to fend for herself. But she never gave up faith, and she continued to go and help out in Charity work, in Tzu Chi, in charity clinics, and constantly showering care and concern to those around her. A humble woman she was, that she worked till her last breath..
One fine evening, she stepped back home and collapsed on the ground after having a stroke, and immediately she was hospitalized. She has suffered a stroke on her right brain and that paralysed her left side of the body. She looked so much like her mother when she laid there on the bed trying to convey a message to her younger brother, holding on to his hands tightly. Probably a message on her death bed. She struggled and tried to talk but could barely speak properly as all she could do was to blabber words. Her younger brother and family was there, and all were saddened by this image. The doctor has reassured them, including the daughter that the x-ray has shown nothing serious, and has to gauge her condition for the next few days. The next morning was the last time she was awake. When the younger brother visited big sister, and asked the doctor about her condition, the doctor only said that she has told the daughter everything, and will not divulge more. 2 days later, she passed away in the early mornings. If i had the money and energy, I would have sued the hospital and doctor for the way they have treated the patient. Why didn't they send her for a 2nd brain scan, when they said she died of retention of blood in the brain 2 days later? When she suddenly went into a deep sleep, why did it not raise the awareness of the doctor that something was wrong? She certainly did not look like she was going to die on the 1st day of admission, and the doctor was still advising on how she would get better after monitoring her condition? Was there nothing the doctor could do other than monitoring? Moral of story, if you want to live longer, do not go to hospital N.
Over 200 or more family and friends visited her wake during the short 3 days, and many were from Tzu Chi, the organisation where she has devoted her life, yes, pratically her life, to it, until the last minute. She has scrimped and saved, and left her wealth to the foundation to help those in need, which is in excess of $100k. She was a simple and humble woman, with nothing but a kind heart, but she had not enjoy much in her lifetime. Over the past years, she has helped to raise funds, and personally helped during Cyclone Nargis, Tsunami in Phuket, Sichuan Earthquake and the latest Taiwan disaster, to name a few of those that she has rendered her energy in.
Mdm Lee Siew Leh, Big sister, also my big aunt, will always be live on in my memory. According to my dad, her younger brother, she has sponsored part of my education and had wanted to take me in as her god son, if not for my dad's foul temper. What a pity. I also regret not doing much for her in this lifetime. What I learnt from all these, is to appreciate what my parents have done for me, when they are still alive, and not just mourn when they are gone.
What I disagreed and did not understand was the way she was treatedby her daugher before she was dead, and even when she was already dead.While hundreds of many others were chanting prayers for her to be reincarnated earlier, her daughter just sat by and did not join in, due to difference in religious beliefs. Why can't a Christian pay respect to her parents? While there is already no burning of incense and joss paper and monks chanting, why can't you sit in for the ceremony, at least sitting there with respect for your mum who have raised you for the past 30 plus years. I do believe and only believe in one thing: Religions work towards to goodness of all mankind, and whatever religion you are in, you should respect that of the others. Furthermore, we are talking about respecting a DEAD person's religion, and she was your kin.
I do not have biasness against any religion, but from the many incidents that I have seen or heard, I feel that Christianity, especially the teachings from the 2 largest churches in Singapore have not been rightfully inculcated to our youths and new believers. Even if it was a malay or indian funeral, it is only right to follow their ways of paying respect to the dead. Come on, THE PERSON IS DEAD, do you think your god will denounce or kick you out from the religion, or reprimand you for paying respect to your MUM? Sorry if I sounded too harsh, but what I have said is true from what I have seen.
So I hope that whoever sees this blog, pls, I implore you to be kind to your parents and show your respects in the right manner to the dead. Thank you.
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