To be or not to be

Looking back at the past few months, it has flown by in a blink of eye and as each day passes by, I am constantly bugged by the fact that being an educator is not easy. You get frustrated easily when you see others laughing away when you are worrying about their future.. You don't sleep well because there is always someone irresponsible enough to spoil your sleep when they do not hand in homework or hand in substandard work. You feel sad when you see a flawed education system which claims to be in the best interest of students yet the product of this system doubts the machine which shapes the way he/she is. You get upset when you see students after getting 10 years of education ending up in places where they are not supposed to be in, for e.g Prison, or hospital after getting hacked by others.. Are the schools or the teachers not doing enough? Or is this egalitarian system essentially flawed such that it only focuses on the A students and not those who cannot make the mark.

Must Schools be Results Driven because we grow up with the notion of "survival of the fittest" or can they be driven based only on Shaping the Character of the students? Which one should be the priority, Character or Results? To me, one with character will produce results, but not vice versa. But in the real world, in our education system, who truly and wholly believes that? No one, not even the ones who have the power to make decisions. Educators must believe in the power of shaping characters before they can really put their heart into it, but do they have the time and energy facing mountains and heaps of work? Do we?

I have to return to my mundane life of marking and thinking of how to motivate the students.. I always tell my friends, it is the holidays that drive me towards the completion of my work. But even the holidays make me worry.. Cos being an educator, work simply never ends..Never..

End of year.. Should I Lead another project? Should I or should I not? Do people see the value to doing such a project? Do you get recognized for what you do? Do people understand why you are doing so? Do you see RESULTS in your students after the project? What is the impact on them? Do they really feel it?

I have far too many questions in me....I only hope that someone can give me an answer..A student, a colleague or a stranger.. Should I or should I not lead another project?

Let me share a story before I end. It happened in class today.. A student asked me this question and it stumped me, which eventually prompted me to write this post to escape from the reality: "Cher, why does the school make use of us to achieve results?" Then they started comparing the time when they were released as compared to another neighbourhood "good" school. There were some answers coming from everywhere: " XXX school release their students at 1 plus everyday." "Because their students will go home and do their homework mah"..."Their students' results are better mah"..

Finally I stopped them and told them that there are 3 kinds of people who go to school. 1. They go to school because their friends are in school and they are just there to have fun. After school, they will return to computer and not knowing what to do with their life. 2.They go to school because their parents wanted/forced them to go and achieve results, and follow the path that they had mapped out for their child. 3. They go to school because they want to achieve something in life and they feel strongly that studying is their responsibility towards success. Most of us will stop at being the 2nd kind of people where our parents want us to grow up to be.. Few will be the 3rd kind of people and succeed in life.. And I continued to tell them about Veasna, a kid whom me and my friend "adopted" in Cambodia who is very clear about what he wants.. And it is because of his environment which shapes him into what he is..

What has become to our environment? Do kids grow up stronger and more independent? Or do they grow up listening to what their parents decide for them? Lesser and lesser people want to join the uniformed groups because they have grown up in well sheltered conditions.. UGs shape characters and I strongly believe in this. But how many actually believes in this?

Academic focused vs Character focused.. Time's up.. Back to normal life..