The different faces of life (人生中不同的脸孔）

很多人说我如果不笑，我的样子看起来会很凶。可能是我的皮肤黑吧，每次会被当成脸黑黑。可能这是一件好事，也有可能，这是件坏事。为什么我这么说呢？今天，我除了要分享我的脸上的表情代表着什么意思外，还希望能谈一谈我的一些看法。

有时候，当我不笑的时候，其实我感到很累，很疲倦，尤其是这上半年， 我笑与不笑的时候差不多都各一半。我是个很喜欢笑的人，也很喜欢带给我周围的人欢笑。但遗憾的是，我的家里常常都是吵闹多过笑声。所以每次我和朋友在外面时，都尽量保持愉快的心情。这上半年，由于受到学校教学的压力，以及两个海外义工工程的进行与后续工作，让我筋疲力尽，想笑也笑不出来。

我不笑，除了疲倦外，其实有时是在想事情。当我在思考时，是我最认真的时刻，所以经常会看到我不说话，然后也不笑。可能就是因为我平时笑太多，给人一种吊儿郎当的感觉，因此，当我不笑的时候，就会被当成是“脸臭臭”、“发脾气”。你或许还没察觉，我其实不喜欢发脾气，也不喜欢生气的感觉，因为生气很累。当我生气时，我会让你知道你把我惹火了，而那是每个人最不想看到的脸。

因此，如果我凶，那是因为我有必要对你凶，而不是因为我生气了。例如：当我发现班上有人说话时，我必须凶，学生才不会吵闹；或者当在学生警察中，为了维持纪律，绝对有必要对学生凶，才能让他们知道什么时候应该遵守纪律；又或者当我是领导时，为了维持队中的合作精神，我得拿出领队的威严来达到目的。但，如果你是一个正常人的话，你不会喜欢人们对你凶，或对你呼来唤去，或骂你。这也是我常被人误会的地方。或许可能是我认为别人误会我，但事实上，这与人的本性有关。

我非常讨厌我的父亲经常无缘无故就对我怒吼，尤其当我没有犯错时，因此我时时警惕自己，除非有必要，不然我不会对任何人这么做。其实，这些日子以来，尤其是上个星期所发生的一些事，让我深深明白了人性的一个弱点：人，不喜欢被其他人把他们当成小孩子般来使唤，或训话，因此他们常常怪罪于骂他们的人，从来不会反省自己是否有错。换句话说，现在的人们只会埋怨别人对自己怎么样的不好，却不换个角度想想他们是否真的有错，以致招徕他人的谩骂？他们也不会去设身处地想想为何人们要如此对待他们？我不否认有些人就喜欢针对人，又或者观点存有偏见，因此常喜欢骂人。总而言之，我觉得反省之心非常重要。

我的父亲是个脾气极度暴躁的人，因此我常被骂。这也导致我们父子俩的关系处于一种敬畏的阶段。但，我必须说一点：没有我的父亲的“骂”，就没有今天的我。我有很多缺点都是经过“骂”之后，才改正过来，但遗憾的是，他很少会去发掘我的优点。可能是我曾令他失望过。

在这次的四川大地震中，我看到了不少新的脸孔，一些人生中难得一见真诚的脸孔。我看到了人们在寻找孩子忧虑的脸孔；我看到了人们在面对亲人尸体时无可奈何，欲哭无泪的脸孔；我看到了更多人们抱着希望的脸孔，日以继夜地不断搜寻失踪者的下落；我也看到温家宝总理温和慈祥的脸孔安抚着沮丧的人民； 我更看到了为了保护学生而壮烈牺牲的老师僵硬的脸孔；我也看到了学生们感激老师的脸孔； 我看到了全世界不分国界、种族、语言的人民，慷慨解囊，伸出援手，为灾区人民默默祈祷，盼望有更多生还者，那种恳切的脸孔。

在这次缅甸的热带风暴中，我看到了政府对人民不屑的脸孔；我看到了全世界人们想要帮助，但却无可奈何的脸孔； 我看到了缅甸人民在被自己政府残酷的遗弃后，自动自发地从全国各地到灾区去出一份绵力，向自己的同袍伸出援手，那种互助互爱的脸孔；我更看到了救难人员，及联合国因为缅甸政府不肯配合而生气的面孔。

以上种种的面孔，不管是善良或丑陋，都在这两个大灾难中显现出来。我从这些人生中不同的脸孔中学到了四个字、一个道理：人性本善。善良是人们天生的本性，尽管缅甸的政府从表面上看来对外来的援助很不友善，但那时因为权力的斗争腐化了他们善良的本性。在这里，我希望我的学生及到我的博客阅读的朋友，都能保持自己善良的心，并要懂得从经验中虚心学习，不要一直埋怨他人对自己开骂，要换个方式去反省为何人们会这样对你。可能你会发现这个人其实教会你更多的人生道理，毕竟我是这么过来的，你呢？

English translation of the above text:

Many people say that if I do not smile, I actually look very fierce. I look into the mirror and thought: Maybe I am too dark，so i get mistaken as being angry. Maybe it is a good thing, but maybe it is not that great after all. Why do I say so? Today, I am going to share what the expressions on my face mean, and what they actually represent of me, and I also hope to share some of my views about the different faces of life.

Sometime, when I do not smile, it is actually because I feel tired, really tired. Especially for the last half of 2008, the times where I smiled/ laughed, and the times where I do not smile at all, I think they are quite equal. I am someone who likes to laugh or rather, I like to bring laughter to the people around me. But regretfully, I have not been able to fulfil this wish at home, as scoldings exceed the amount of laughter being heard. Hence everytime when I go out with my friends, I do my best to maintain fun and laughter. For the last half of the year, due to pressure from teaching in school, and my 2 overseas community projects, its preparation for one and its closing for the other, it has drained me totally of my energy, so as much as I want to laugh, but I do not have excess energy to do it.

When I do not laugh, besides being tired, actually I am thinking about some matters. When I am really in deep thought, that is when I am serious about some important matters, hence you will see me being very quiet, and not smiling at all. Maybe I usually give others an impression whereby I laugh and joke a lot, giving people an impression that I am not serious about things, hence when I don't laugh, people will think that I am angry, or feeling unhappy. They will not think that I am tired. Maybe you have not realised one thing about me, that is, I so not like to be angry, as I hate the feeling of being angry, because it tires me further to be angry at someone. So when I am really angry at you, I will let you know about it, and that will really be the face which you will really hate to see.

When I am fierce to you, that is because I feel that there is a need to be fierce, and not because I am angry. For example, when I find someone talking in class, I have to be fierce, so that the students will not be noisy and thus affect the learning of other students; Or when in NPCC, in order to maintain discipline, I have to be fierce to the students so that they will know when is the time that they have to obey orders and not to fool around; Or when I am in the position of a leader, in order to maintain the team's discipline in doing things, I have to exert my authority on you to achieve the aim. However, having said so, if you are a normal being, you will not like people to be fierce to you, nor will you want people to boss you around to do things, or scold you. No one likes that， and that is why I am always being mistaken by others. Or maybe it could be that I have mistaken how others think of me. Nevertheless, I have come to realize one thing, in reality, this has got to do with the nature of human being.

I really hate my dad at times, when he rants at me for no particular reason, especially when I am not wrong..Hence I keep reminding myself, unless there is a need, if not, I will not scold people for no particular reasons. Actually, through these days, especially after what happened last week, I realized that human have a weakness, and that is: Man, as much as they do not like to be treated as kids, being commanded at or scolded, they turn to vent their frustrations on the people who scolds or reprimands them. Man seldom does reflect on his own mistakes. In another words, people nowadays only know how to complain about how others are treating them badly, but they do not change their perspective to wonder if they really did something wrong, that deserved a scolding from others? They do not put themselves in others shoes, and think of why people have to treat them in this lousy manner? I do not deny that there are cases where people just like to find fault in others, or some whose viewpoints are biased and flawed, such that they just like to scold others unnecessary. All in all, I feel that self reflection is very important.

My dad is someone who has a very bad temper, hence me being scolded that much. This has also caused our relationship of me to always be in a position more of respect rather than us trying to understand each other better. But, I have to say this, without the relentless scolding from my dad, there will not be the Ivan Lee today. I learn through the many mistakes through his scoldings, but the one thing that I find regretful is that, he seldom explore my strengths. Maybe because I have hurt him badly before.

In the aftermath of the Si Chuan Earthquake, I see a lot of refreshing faces, some which can only be seen in a lifetime. I saw the faces of people frantically looking for their children in the rubbles; I saw the helpless, sad faces of those who have lost their closest kins and friends; I saw more hopeful faces working hard day and night trying their very best to look for the traces of their loved ones, or of stangers that they do not even know; I saw the kind face of Premier Wen Jia bao providing mental support and calmness to the helpless victims of the earthquake; I even saw the hardened, expressionless faces of the teachers who have sacrificed themselves in the event of protecting their students from the quake; I also saw the faces of gratitude of the students who were saved from the rubbles; and of course, I saw the earnest faces of kind people from all over the world, regardless of country, race and language, doing their best to raise funds, and pray for the well being of the victims, hoping that there can be more survivors as time ticked past.

In Myanmar's Cyclone Nargis, I saw the uncaring face of the government of Myanmar; I also saw the helpless faces of those who have kind intentions to help, yet unable to do anything due to the government's restrictions; I saw the helpful, kind and loving faces of burmese coming from all over the country to lend a helping hand to their own people; and I also saw the angry faces of the rescuers from all over the world as well as the frustrated faces of the UN counterparts who wanted to help.

以上种种的面孔，不管是善良或丑陋，都在这两个大灾难中显现出来。我从这些人生中不同的脸孔中学到了四个字、一个道理：人性本善。善良是人们天生的本性， 尽管缅甸的政府从表面上看来对外来的援助很不友善，但那时因为权力的斗争腐化了他们善良的本性。在这里，我希望我的学生及到我的博客阅读的朋友，都能保持 自己善良的心，并要懂得从经验中虚心学习，不要一直埋怨他人对自己的不好，要换个方式去反省为何人们会这样对你。可能你会发现这个人其实教会你更多的人生道 理，毕竟我是这么过来的，你呢？

From all the different faces from all walks of life, no matter whether they are kind or ugly faces, it has surfaced from the 2 natural disasters and tragedies. I have learnt an applicable phrase from the above, and that is: Human is kind by nature. Being kind is an inborn nature of human beings. Even when we see the Myanmar government unwelcoming outside aid, we have to realise that it is because of the struggle for power that has made the junta defect from their original kind nature. Hence finally, I hope that my students and other visitors of this blog, can maintain a kind heart, and learn humbly from your experiences and failures, and do not keep blaming others for being harsh on you. Try to think from another positive perspective on why people are treating you in this manner. Maybe you will find that this person whom actually scolds you have actually taught you much more than you have ever learnt. Well, at least that was how I lived by, what about you?

( wah, I actually spent 3 hours on this.. 2.45 am le.. Time to sleep.. Going Cambodia tomorrow le.. Last night on my precious bed..)