Reflection of the day..

I just finished teaching 2 classes today, and I experienced something that was hurting again. Why do I feel so emotional these days? One of my classes realized that some of them need to buck up and scored full marks in their spelling. I am very happy for them. However so, I realized that some of them still persisted their own ways, and did not learn their spelling.

I saw 2 boys making fun outside the class, and one of them suddenly pushed the other guy, and he flew at the door, and landed hard on the ground. Luckily he was not hurt. I called on the culprit who pushed him, and called him over. The guy who was pushed to the ground, flew into a great rage, banged the door, and went into his class and kicked the chair. After which, he stepped out, weeping, and looking very angry, wanting to confront the culprit who was standing in front of me. I stopped him, and calmed him down before speaking to the both of them. Then, both were asked to stay back to talk to me. I wouldn't have imagined what would have happened if I was not around. I think both boys would have gotten into a fight so bad that more would get involved and get hurt. I only felt lucky that I was there.

Next, I stepped into my other class, and again saw the boys fooling around, spraying water at one another and playing PSP. They were afraid that I may confiscate the PSP, and tried to hide it. But I promised to return if they studied their spelling. So indeed they took effort to study, but the work that I tasked them to do, most did not do. That was recess time.

When I went for the last class, I was feeling moody, because I had a very lost feeling, which I do not usually have. Maybe guys do have periods too. haha. I gave them their spelling, and after that, I went on to 念经 to them. I asked them what the meaning of "放弃” is, which means give up. I asked them why are they giving up on themselves, and their lives. While I was talking, I suddenly felt very sad, so sad that I nearly wept out, and my voice started to tremble a bit. I do not know if they realized, but I composed myself and carried on a while more, before getting on to serious work. I could see that most of them understood what i said, but some of them still continued to poke fun of each other in class, which also upset me. However so, I think they got the message across, but whether they will continue to be like that, or they will change for the better, it is up to them.

"I LEAD MY LIFE"
"I AM THE MASTER OF MY LIFE"

Finally, I am glad that I met them in a part of my life. If they change for the better, I will be happy for them, but if they continue as what they are, then I can only hope... Hope that one day, they will understand and see the true meaning of what I have said today. Saying is easier than done. Jiayou bah, my students, and whoever reading this.